Have you ever thought that good habits can bring you that happy life you dream of?
It’s been a long time since I did not write anything on the blog. I was lost in the daily activities and personal issues, but- honestly, – I also did not had any inspiration. So, I guess I preferred to wait until my mind was more clear on how the blog should look like or how I want my writing to be. And I decided it should be…me. It should not be a blog with standard articles on what women in their 40s should or should not do, it should be ME. I am 40, so one might say I know how to eat this. 🙂
So, since we are starting a new year, not more or less difficult than the previous one, maybe it’s good to set up some things that we want to change in us, in our habits. That is the only place we can control, in the end. Habits are the ones that takes us to our goals and we need to work on creating and maintaining good habits that make us happy and our life better.
1. The problems are still there, it’s just you that needs to change.
This is the first and maybe the most important thing we need to be aware of. Life happens, with our without us or around us. It’s solely our decision on how we let ourselves affected by situations or how we chose to control our actions and even emotions. Okay, this was probably not something I would have considered in my 30s and definitively in my 20s, but now, that I am older and wiser, I am more open on the idea that, based on my experience, my knowledge and my conscience, I can decide how to think and act or react. True, nobody said it will be easy, but it’s manageable, we just need to pay attention to our habits.
2. Take your time, for you, preferably in the morning. Many of us prefer to sleep longer or our biorhythm even is not the best in the morning for everyone. I am a morning person, so for me this is working, but you can choose your time, for you. Use it wisely; I read, write in my journal, do meditation or listen to motivational videos on Youtube. I can tell you for sure it works and it helps, if you are into such stuff or at least open to the idea. My life is a chaos right now which only works under my organization so that I can deal with everything I need to deal these days. Before doing this ritual in the morning, I was a mess, always nervous, always yelling or saying stuff I did not mean to and hurting people I love with my words. Now, I manage to work, to treat my personal context with patience, take care of my family and everything for the house, do sport, working on my business and so on. I am doing this intense rhythm for 2 months now and I am still standing and kicking. 🙂 I need sleep and I could sleep longer, but the need of my time with me is more important than that one extra hour of sleep. It’s not about one, two, three days, it’s about habits.
3. Do sport, as often you can and as much you like. You were not an active person before or did not do sport very often? Don’t use it as an excuse. Sport will give you energy, enthusiasm, happiness, sport will boost your self confidence and determination to deal with everything: family, kids, jobs, everything. You can do any workout at home, there are programs to help you with this, with zero or minimum equipment, so no excuses there either. Don’t use your age not to give a fresh start to the rest of your life that can be amazing, that can be incredible, that can be as you want it to be. Put some effort, yes, some physical effort, do it consistently, create good habits and let yourself be amazed!
4. Call your friends or meet them. When your are 40s, usually your friends list count..one or two (close friends). If you want to show them that you care for them, especially in these times, call them or, better, see them! If you want to extend your social agenda, call your acquaintances, find common things you like and make them potential new friends. Our social life wend to zero but you can still compensate with a phone call (not a message or WhatsApp). Remember those small parties you used to give in your apartment with couples of friends, playing cards or sharing stories on a wine glass? If you are 40, then you definitively know how cool those moments were and how can you re-live them now.
5. Start the day with a smile. It might seem a cliché, but trust me, it’s not. Set yourself to smile since the morning, smile to you in the mirror, smile to your husband and children, smile to your work colleague and you will see how you feel and how other respond to your smile. Smile to the world, smile to the problems, smile every time, all the time and life will smile back at you. I know, you are older, better than this motivational crap, but do you have something to lose if you do? Make a habit of smiling every day!
6. Be grateful. This is a daily exercise you should do, because this way you can acknowledge, every day, how lucky you are. Don’t tell me you don’t know what to be grateful for. Do you wake up in the morning? Be grateful for that first breathe of air. Do you see the sun through the window. Be grateful. Do you have two legs and two arms? Be grateful. I am grateful for this busy period when I can take care of my mom because it’s time spent closer to her that, otherwise, I would not have. I am grateful that I can do sport and I am grateful for that hour that I get tot take for myself. I am grateful for my husband and my cats and my house. I am grateful for all the opportunities that arises. Trust me, it will change your perspective on your life and on all possibilities around you.
7. Be present, as much as you can. What do I mean by that? Every time you change the posture, the activities, so in transition times, try to focus on that moment. This will help you on long term on being more present and you will get more attentive in general. Once you are more attentive with everything, you will see easier possibilities that now you cannot see. Even if you think this goes without thinking, it’s not! Work on it so that it becomes a habit!
8. Say I love you to your loved ones. All the time. I remember how difficult it was, when I was a child, to say I love you to my parents or sister. The first time I said it, I was like..embarrassed. But I saw in the American movies how often they were saying it and I start it to say it and now, at 40, I say I love you to anyone I want to say, without fear for the response or consequences or judgement or anything. I say it because I feel it and because I want that other person to know it.
9. Work on your goals. You know something, you need to have goals. You cannot run through life chasing nothing… I do believe that my goal in life is to be happy and I do enjoy everything and I am grateful for everything I got, but this is not the end of it. You can be grateful and satisfied, but you can still set goals and work on achieving other satisfactions, all king of it, material, emotional, social, etc. Your goals are anyway changing, now, at 40, you don’t reach for the same goals as when you were 20, but some of them may remain. At 20, I was enjoying life without a clear direction, at 30 I wanted professional recognition and success, at 40 I added family and experiences to all this, but the main goal is there and I work daily on it: to be HAPPY.
10. ……… ………………………………..Add a habit you think we should have on this list, so we get a perfect 10! I left here an empty space so that everyone can add a good habit that they keep, for inspiration to them and to us all. Also, remember that this list is not finale and you can change it or add stuff anytime. And that everything is work in progress.
Keep working on your habits and the goals will be reached!
